What is it that you really love?

So this weekend was Lawson's first ball tournament of the fall season. I love fall. I love baseball. We travel. We eat. We stay in hotels sometimes. We share these times with our friends, family and baseball family. But the only struggle through all of it is... the FOOD. Normally we eat more junk than you can shake a stick at. Ball park nachos are my favorite. Frito chili pie.. yes sir. Sunflowers seeds until your lips are parched. Fast food, mexican food, etc. So how on earth do I go do all of this without all of those things I think I  "love." How many times have you said or felt that you LOVE you some mexican food! You LOVE you some coca cola classic and peanuts at a ball game. I LOVE those nachos with extra cheese and peppers. But the truth is we don't LOVE these things we just want them and if we do then our priorities are in the wrong direction. We need to redirect. LOVE IS your #20 at 8 years old on the mound with all eyes on him to throw his very first pitch ever. His little knees trembling and you wishing you could run out there and help him. Love is when he throws a strike or makes an awesome play at first base. You see all too often we say we love something so we THINK we have to have it. Well I don't know about you. But I have to have that little man in my life and I know that he needs me in his. So I have decided that I am not going to be that Mom that sits in the bleachers pigging out on a bunch of crap I don't need and yelling "Good job son" with cheese on my fingers and probably half way down my shirt. How embarrassing. But most of all, how unhealthy is that for me and for him. Do I love the food that is shortening my years with him one day at a time? Do I love being an unhealthy example for him who already thinks he needs food more than he should? Or do I love HIM and do I want to be a positive role model for a healthy future for the both of us? Here's the deal.... all of these years I have had my priorities completely messed up. But, I woke up one day and decided that I can't have both. Maybe for a little while but not for long. I am a diabetic with asthma who at my biggest weighed 411 lbs. This crap is going to literally KILL me if i don't get it under control. That honesty right there is brutal but true. We have to decide what is more important and stop riding the fence. Be a positive role model for our children. Live a healthy life. In the 40 something days I have been dieting and exercising, I already feel a lot better than I used too. Usually after the game ends and all the food damage has been done, I walk to the car just hoping I make it. legs swollen and hurting. Not being able to wait until I could lay down somewhere. This weekend I ate fairly healthy, drank water, went to a gym there in Longview, and after the games were over in the almost 100 degree heat, I got up from those bleachers and bounced all over that park. Watched another game and then drove 30 miles to watch another game bringing us home at midnight last night. I was sleepy and maybe a little tired. But I didn't hurt. I didn't feel like I could quite possibly lay down there in that bed and die. I am loving the results and so would you. It is literally all about making up your mind. I believe in everyone. I believe that you can do anything you want to do if you want to do it badly enough. Push through the struggle. At first it isn't easy. It gets easier. Find what motivates you and become determined to reach for a goal. #JUSTDOIT 

Hangry

I found this word funny but true. Have you ever been so hungry that you were mad? If you didn't get some food, someone was gonna get their feelings hurt? I have been there more than once. What's worse is when you are on a diet (chicken and salad) and you want some grease, sugar, fat, etc. I am telling you.. I have been completely ready to snap more than once in the last 35 days on this diet. Then I think....you dummy! There is no sense in acting like a baby over a snicker ice cream bar and Braums hamburger. Obviously you can't go without food. If you are HANGRY because you haven't eaten at all...please do. But when its a simple addiction to have all the bad things you don't need, then you know your HANGRY is nonsense. I argue with myself over it. But I have finally came to the realization that those things aren't going anywhere and someday maybe I can "treat" myself to a little something fattening. In the meantime, I have to stay focused. The fact that I become HANGRY over food means I have a problem. I admit that. I do. I love the taste and smells of food. The real 411 is..... I have never been hungry a day in my life. I wouldn't know what hungry feels like. So I have learned to identify that and tell myself... "you just want to eat." Find something else to do! :) Stay focused! Don't allow yourself to get to the point! Be blessed peeps! 

#yougotthis

Negativity is nonsense!

That's it in a nutshell. Pretty self explanatory. Short, sweet, and too the point. NO negativity. NO excuses. NO giving up. Period. No turning back. You are only gonna make it as far as your mind allows you too. If your mind is clouded and cluttered by negativity, then chances are, you will quit early. No one wants to be a quitter. Negativity comes from insecurities.  Let's be real and raw here for a minute... I am not ashamed to tell you how my mind works when my insecurities are on the rise.

I will never be small.
I am too fat for this or that.
I can't walk.
I can't breathe.
I can't do what they are doing.
I will always be fat.
I might as well quit.
it will take me 40 yrs to lose this.
She looks better on that treadmill than me.
I can't eat another piece of chicken.
They are laughing at me.
No one believes I will do this.
I have to have a cheeseburger.
NOBODY CARES!!!

Well guess what.
It doesn't matter who cares.
It doesn't matter who is looking.
 It doesn't matter how much farther they walk.
 I may be too fat to do that today but if I don't try I will always be too fat.
People are waiting for you too quit..all the more reason to keep going.
 Rome wasn't built in a day.
Put something else on that chicken and pretend its cake.
Let them laugh.. but more than likely they arent and if they are they need to grow up. Not your problem.
Cheeseburgers rot your insides.
Nobody cares is right... nobody cares how fat you are. The ones that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter!!!

See.... it's all in the way you look at it. Stop the negativity! We don't have time for it! Stop with your excuses! DON'T you even think about giving up!! Much loves peeps!

P.S. this post was more for me than anyone!