What is it that you really love?

So this weekend was Lawson's first ball tournament of the fall season. I love fall. I love baseball. We travel. We eat. We stay in hotels sometimes. We share these times with our friends, family and baseball family. But the only struggle through all of it is... the FOOD. Normally we eat more junk than you can shake a stick at. Ball park nachos are my favorite. Frito chili pie.. yes sir. Sunflowers seeds until your lips are parched. Fast food, mexican food, etc. So how on earth do I go do all of this without all of those things I think I  "love." How many times have you said or felt that you LOVE you some mexican food! You LOVE you some coca cola classic and peanuts at a ball game. I LOVE those nachos with extra cheese and peppers. But the truth is we don't LOVE these things we just want them and if we do then our priorities are in the wrong direction. We need to redirect. LOVE IS your #20 at 8 years old on the mound with all eyes on him to throw his very first pitch ever. His little knees trembling and you wishing you could run out there and help him. Love is when he throws a strike or makes an awesome play at first base. You see all too often we say we love something so we THINK we have to have it. Well I don't know about you. But I have to have that little man in my life and I know that he needs me in his. So I have decided that I am not going to be that Mom that sits in the bleachers pigging out on a bunch of crap I don't need and yelling "Good job son" with cheese on my fingers and probably half way down my shirt. How embarrassing. But most of all, how unhealthy is that for me and for him. Do I love the food that is shortening my years with him one day at a time? Do I love being an unhealthy example for him who already thinks he needs food more than he should? Or do I love HIM and do I want to be a positive role model for a healthy future for the both of us? Here's the deal.... all of these years I have had my priorities completely messed up. But, I woke up one day and decided that I can't have both. Maybe for a little while but not for long. I am a diabetic with asthma who at my biggest weighed 411 lbs. This crap is going to literally KILL me if i don't get it under control. That honesty right there is brutal but true. We have to decide what is more important and stop riding the fence. Be a positive role model for our children. Live a healthy life. In the 40 something days I have been dieting and exercising, I already feel a lot better than I used too. Usually after the game ends and all the food damage has been done, I walk to the car just hoping I make it. legs swollen and hurting. Not being able to wait until I could lay down somewhere. This weekend I ate fairly healthy, drank water, went to a gym there in Longview, and after the games were over in the almost 100 degree heat, I got up from those bleachers and bounced all over that park. Watched another game and then drove 30 miles to watch another game bringing us home at midnight last night. I was sleepy and maybe a little tired. But I didn't hurt. I didn't feel like I could quite possibly lay down there in that bed and die. I am loving the results and so would you. It is literally all about making up your mind. I believe in everyone. I believe that you can do anything you want to do if you want to do it badly enough. Push through the struggle. At first it isn't easy. It gets easier. Find what motivates you and become determined to reach for a goal. #JUSTDOIT 

Hangry

I found this word funny but true. Have you ever been so hungry that you were mad? If you didn't get some food, someone was gonna get their feelings hurt? I have been there more than once. What's worse is when you are on a diet (chicken and salad) and you want some grease, sugar, fat, etc. I am telling you.. I have been completely ready to snap more than once in the last 35 days on this diet. Then I think....you dummy! There is no sense in acting like a baby over a snicker ice cream bar and Braums hamburger. Obviously you can't go without food. If you are HANGRY because you haven't eaten at all...please do. But when its a simple addiction to have all the bad things you don't need, then you know your HANGRY is nonsense. I argue with myself over it. But I have finally came to the realization that those things aren't going anywhere and someday maybe I can "treat" myself to a little something fattening. In the meantime, I have to stay focused. The fact that I become HANGRY over food means I have a problem. I admit that. I do. I love the taste and smells of food. The real 411 is..... I have never been hungry a day in my life. I wouldn't know what hungry feels like. So I have learned to identify that and tell myself... "you just want to eat." Find something else to do! :) Stay focused! Don't allow yourself to get to the point! Be blessed peeps! 

#yougotthis

Negativity is nonsense!

That's it in a nutshell. Pretty self explanatory. Short, sweet, and too the point. NO negativity. NO excuses. NO giving up. Period. No turning back. You are only gonna make it as far as your mind allows you too. If your mind is clouded and cluttered by negativity, then chances are, you will quit early. No one wants to be a quitter. Negativity comes from insecurities.  Let's be real and raw here for a minute... I am not ashamed to tell you how my mind works when my insecurities are on the rise.

I will never be small.
I am too fat for this or that.
I can't walk.
I can't breathe.
I can't do what they are doing.
I will always be fat.
I might as well quit.
it will take me 40 yrs to lose this.
She looks better on that treadmill than me.
I can't eat another piece of chicken.
They are laughing at me.
No one believes I will do this.
I have to have a cheeseburger.
NOBODY CARES!!!

Well guess what.
It doesn't matter who cares.
It doesn't matter who is looking.
 It doesn't matter how much farther they walk.
 I may be too fat to do that today but if I don't try I will always be too fat.
People are waiting for you too quit..all the more reason to keep going.
 Rome wasn't built in a day.
Put something else on that chicken and pretend its cake.
Let them laugh.. but more than likely they arent and if they are they need to grow up. Not your problem.
Cheeseburgers rot your insides.
Nobody cares is right... nobody cares how fat you are. The ones that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter!!!

See.... it's all in the way you look at it. Stop the negativity! We don't have time for it! Stop with your excuses! DON'T you even think about giving up!! Much loves peeps!

P.S. this post was more for me than anyone!

Notice the small stuff.

Good Monday morning peeps!! All too often when we are wanting to lose weight, we want to lose it right NOW. Like yesterday wouldn't have been soon enough. I feel that not seeing fast results is what slowly makes us veer of track and back into the old habits. You can not look at it that way. The best thing to do is set small goals. Make it fun. When you consume yourself with little goals and reach them to the point of being proud of yourself, then before you know it, you have reached the point where you were wanting to be from the beginning. For instance, on my first weight loss journey I had lost 70 lbs. I then got off track and gained 20 of it back. So my first small goal was to lose that 20 lbs in 30 days. This is the start of day 24 and I have lost 13 lbs. Now I am going to step it up and see if I can lose that last 7 in the next 7 days. I just keep telling my self that "Rome wasn't built in a day" and I didnt get fat overnight. So therefore I will not be smaller overnight either. But I was thinking... stop looking at the number on the scale and pay attention to the small things. Like if your clothes fit loser or you can wear something that you couldn't a month ago or if when you look down you can finally see your toes or how far the steering wheel is from your gut or if its less stressful to bend over and tie your shoes. Its the small stuff. Just like the title of this blog "from a table to a booth." Thats a big deal to me. What is your "big deal?" What small step are you going to work towards first? I do not know who all is following or reading this..but lets do something fun. Leave a comment saying something that you want to achieve. What small goal do you want to do first? What is something that has always bothered you about being overweight that you want to fix? Lets hold each other accountable. Keep your head on straight and when that old craving or temptation comes lurking around the corner...hit it head on with a "No thank you..I won't be stumbling over you today." Love you all! Keep it going! 

It's been one year since I've been on this blog or written my thoughts. When I started this blog I was also on the diet and exercise journey to a new health. Somewhere along the way I got off track and was no longer eating healthy or taking care of myself. It happens. Making a new change in life can sometimes be overwhelming and hard. Therefore it's human nature to get weak and stumble but do yourself a favor and push thru no matter how hard it is. It's then that you are strengthening yourself. If for some reason you get off track, don't waste anytime kicking yourself. Just simply know that it's ok to stumble as long as you get right back on track. I honestly think that at this point in life I am much stronger than before. Things happen that cause you to look at things differently. Life is most definitely a dance that you learn as you go. I am humbled to say that by posting my journey on Facebook I have had several say that I have motivated them with my updates and to keep posting. If what I am doing is helping at least one person push through to a new life change then I am doing what I feel God calls us to do! Help one another! So with that I have decided to begin posting on here for anyone to follow. Nothing I do is for show. It's all for bettering my life for the future of my son and myself as well as be there for the people I love who want to do the same! I can't go without saying that I have the most amazing support group I could ever ask for and I know that thru Christ Jesus I can do all things! Love to all! Let's do this! :)

Get out of your FUNK!!!

Its been almost 6 months since I last posted on here. So much has happened in that time and I have not had the motivation, right mindset, or strength to write and I certainly have not focused on my diet, exercise and health like I should be. I could go into a mountain of details as to why this has happened...but I wont. So many times in life we get wrapped up with the negative, with family, with work, with personal issues, death in the family or just simply get in what I like to call a FUNK. Usually when this happens the last thing we care too do is take care of ourselves which in turn causes a sno-ball effect of issues. 
You start to gain weight, feel bad, and lose interest in activities or like me you let a serious health problem get out of hand. All the while you are thinking.. tomorrow I will make a change or  this one more fat and sugar filled meal wont make much more difference and then I will stop. 
It doesnt work that way sometimes and  then one day you realize that you have been bargaining with yourself, your life, and health for far too long. As gruff as it may sound I consider that lifestyle a slow suicide. Thats just truth. Its a selfish way too live when you have children and family who need you and are watching you. 
My heart has been so heavy lately because one day it hit me and I thought.. not only am I hurting myself but I am hurting my son. He is learning such unhealthy habits and do I want him to live this way in his adult life??
 So once again I am trying to make a change. I am gonna fight this food addiction if its the last thing I ever accomplish. Im tired of living in bondage, fatigue, fat-ness, body pain, feelings of being unworthy, huge clothes, unable to breathe, etc. I flat cant do it any longer. So here we go again, if you feel like this too... I challenge you to STOP!!  Find help if you need it.. whatever it takes to break the chains of the FUNK that you are in.. DO IT! Get up, get moving, pray about it and make a change!!! 

No excuses...

I have a very dear friend/ Sister who is always trying to encourage me too do more. But the one thing she always tells me is..  "your full of excuses!" 

Well.. No one wants to hear that and most get offended by it and why? Because its true! I am the wrolds worst about making excuses and most all of us do! So here is todays challenge...

STOP MAKING EXCUSES! I can't, I dont have time, Im too fat, Im tired, It never worked for me before, its too hard etc. 

Theres that negative stinking thinking again! Tell yourself you CAN. As I was watching the Biggest Loser on Monday night, I watched how hard they work! The exercises they do are far more strenuous than the 1/2 mile I slow walked and thought I would pass out over! Body hurting, legs cramping, heart about to pop out of chest, sweat rolling in unpleasant places, fat jiggling, heal spur aching, dizzy, and nauseated! Of course thats exactly how its gonna feel because you/me have been sitting on the couch watching Biggest Loser for 5 seasons while eating a big ol plate of fat and thinking "Dang my hats off to those people cause I CANT DO IT!" So I am here to say on this day Wed January 30, 2013... put down that plate of fat, grab that friend whose been feeling the same as you and hit the walking trail! Go play some ball! Jumping jacks! Whatever it takes to get those muscles screaming, pour some sweat, and get your heart rate going!!! Its now or never! Stop with the excuses and as my sweet friend would say.. "Git er done" :)